i was thinking a bit about following script how there really is no avoiding it... even if you walk away from some of the main scripts in life.. the basic story: be straight, marry someone, make babies, have a carrier... retire, have grandchildren..etc etc..even if you walk away from that by choice or need...even sadly in alternative culture there are all sorts of scripts..and if you dont follow them your shamed with 'uncoolness' etc...so nothing i choice does not have it's precedence, some human has done it before me ..which means there is a script... but perhaps being conscious of following a scripts...no truly unique choice...but sub branch of sub branch etc..of course following scripts can be quiet helpful..why reinvent the wheel... maybe conscious choice of which script one is following and some thoughts as to why..is what a person should focus on... i was just thinking how most peeps i come across follow scripts as if there was no choice... and this surprises me... in cultures like india or nepal where cast and gender make choice nonexistent, that is one thing ...but in most western cultures most people even with a basic education are exposed to different philosophical views and yet that does not seem to propel questioning prescribed systems
another thought about how i've been walking through the italian landscaped as a visitor, guest, foreigner, ...on a subconscious level...the idea... this is not my land... has been running as script... of course I can understand around humans... I can't assume I am italian and be like one.. especially since I dont even come close to speaking the language... but really the earth the plants... are not italian they just are...part of the same planet I am from...strange that I should create an estrangement in my mind..by habit... I guess I do have that nagging feeling.. I cant stay here forever ....money will run out ..and there are rules about how long to stay in europe as an american...but these are all human conventions... that are true now but where not always true... I am walking the mother earth... same as I would in seattle … plants might change a little in appearance... and the landscape is different... but part of a whole..so I will try to tap into that connectedness more... same with feeling foreign amongst italians.. on a much broader level we are all of us human and therefore share more in common than different... I am part of this humanity too...but first things first..it's easier for me to connect with nature..so I will start there..
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My script is changing again. In deep contemplation of change and walking through that darkness as you walk the earth meditating on plants. I'm not walking enough. There is much crime now in these streets, there is much not having to walk because I'm not working. I use the car to get where I'm going, then I'm there. Walking feels more taxing these days. Legs feeling older. This year I can't do my yearly melt down in continuum, which is next week, and I am missing it already. But, I'm studying to take tests; first one for counseling certification, then for my license as a mental health counselor. Meditating on starting a private practice and walking towards that and away from the work world I've known. Glad to follow you on your journey, I'll keep you updated on mine.
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